Uncertainty

 

Nothing in life causes so much misery as uncertainty.  But the willingness to embrace uncertainty allows us to believe in what is possible without knowing the path that lies ahead.

We all live with situations and relationships that don’t make sense, that confuse and challenge our beliefs and ideals and yet, we know they are the right path.  It is hard to live with uncertainty but if you think about it, what is certain?  In life, we each owe a death, and that is a certainty, but everything else leading up to that moment falls into a gray area. 

This is where we assert our control, push our feelings and try to orchestrate what we want or expect.  So is our entire existence a gray area? And if so, why are we so tortured in not knowing?  One might say, if that’s the case, we should throw all caution to the wind and never plan for anything.  That seems a bit unrealistic and even immature.  Or we could plan the life we want and not vary from the path.  That too seems unrealistic.  Most of us plan what we can in life, we go to college, get a job, have a family, pay bills and set our feet on a path to our future. We go along as if the outcome of our lives is inevitable but nothing could be farther from the truth.  And it is hard to face that truth.

It is not easy to live with the truth of uncertainty.  It is the doubt and fear that takes over when we do not feel solid.  It can be emotionally crippling immobilizing pain we feel in the uncertain.  But embracing the pain of uncertainty is necessary, it is vital to our growth; it helps us learn how to change and transform; it requires faith that the possibilities are endless.

When we love there is always uncertainty.  Beautiful, tortured uncertainty.  But that is where hope is, in the uncertainty. Believing in that one moment of unconditional love that will take away all doubt.  As it is when a parent comforts their frightened child; when someone lends us a hand to get up when we have fallen; when we find comfort in a whispered prayer; when a lover embraces us when we are sad.

So how do we learn to get from the fear of uncertainty to embracing uncertainty for all of its possibilities?  How do we learn to believe in ourselves and put faith in the space between who we are and what we are becoming?  How do we love unconditionally, knowing that heartbreak is possible?

I find myself in strange times; full of uncertainty.  And although strange, I find I am learning and growing in ways I never imagined.   In my life, I have stories that don’t have a beginning. Or a middle or an end for that matter.  They just are.

I hope I can learn to navigate and be comfortable in the waters of uncertainty and learn to let go of the “what ifs” and understand that faith is the place where we believe when nothing is certain, everything is possible.

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Butch

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