Forgiveness is a catchword that we say so often but practice so seldom.  
True forgiveness comes from love.  True love comes from forgiveness.  When we forgive ourselves and others, the love inside us allows our hearts to forgive.
I remember reading the story of Kim Phuc who was severely injured as a girl in 1972 by napalm bombs dropped by U.S. military planes during the Vietnam War.  Phuc has since had 17 operations and the attack t took the lives of some of her family. She said she heard God talking to her to forgive and many years later during a memorial service she was able to meet the bomber pilot and tell him that she forgave him. A true miracle of love.
We all have stories of betrayal or devastation done to us by others.  We also have stories of self-sabotage or incidents where we hurt or harm others.  It is up to us to decide on forgiveness.  This includes not only forgiving others but forgiving ourselves as well. If we do not forgive, the effects can be devastating.  It affects our truth.  When we hold resentment and anger in our hearts, we hang onto the pain.  It affects our health, both physically and emotionally, clouds our thinking, causes resentment and guilt and separates us from God by allowing bitterness into our heart.  When bad things happen, either to you or from you, try to remember this saying.  “You can get bitter or you can get better”  
I forgave my childhood abusers.  I forgave my ex-husband the lies and deceit I lived with.  Like most people, the person on the list I needed to forgive the most was myself.  It is hard because I blamed myself and carried guilt like most survivors.  It took me a long time to accept that I didn’t cause the abuse.  Someone else did.  And when I trusted my ex to be honest, I felt small and stupid when I found out the truth.  I refuse to believe people are intentionally cruel; I am not a cruel person, I try to be kind and considerate.  I believe there is light and kindness in everyone’s heart.  We have to allow that we are human and make mistakes.  By forgiving we can learn from their lessons.
Forgiveness for me came at a price.  I could no longer hold on to the pain of the past.  I could no longer wait for the apology.  Wait for someone to tell me they cared and were sorry they hurt me.  I had to realize I was not really forgiving someone when I was waiting for an apology that would never come.  I had to abandon what I thought was the truth and look at what actually was the truth.  
The childhood I experienced, a childhood with abuse and neglect, and with little nurturing or parenting or protection, caused fears that I carry to this day.  I could not trust people were protecting me; the people that were supposed to be protecting me.  So I didn’t trust anyone.  And I became afraid and angry.  A dangerous combination.  I learned my anger clouded my decisions and as a result have dealt with the consequences of my imperfect decisions.  I did deal with my self-sabotage, my anger and my mistakes.  I faced them honestly and forgave myself by learning to love myself.  I am not faint of heart.  I am as brave as I can be in any emotional situations but most of the time I am terrified inside.  And I know that I do not know everything when it comes to feelings, which get messy; so I have to be truthful but kind and trust things to work out and be okay.  True forgiveness is not easy, and when I feel hurt by what someone does or says, I realize that it is up to me to forgive.  And when I mess up, I apologize, and try to make amends.  
And I forgive.